Finding Joy in the Journey...

(Time for the softer side of Suzi, sort of)....

Ok, so today I was working on my Young Womens lesson (I teach the 16-18year old girls). They are an active bunch, each with their own personality. Its hard to find things that will keep them interested but I do the best I can. Heck I have Cayla in there so I really have to try hard. But every now and then I get a lesson that really isn't that difficult of a lesson but I have a problem with it personally, what I mean is I have my struggles with it in my own life. This weeks lesson is "Finding Joy Now".

What a lesson for me...my close family and friends know that right now my Joy Factor is non-existent. Don't get me wrong...I have GREAT JOY with my family (that is when they are not driving me up a wall) and love them, and with the Gospel itself. But really thats about it right now and its been that way...well since we moved to BUCKEYE!! Yes, I will say it, I really hate it out in Buckeye, EVERYTHING about it. But thats something I need to work on and I am, sort of...ok not really...I just love to be miserable...you can ask my mother, I really do love being miserable! :-)

BUT...I wanted to share with you all something I read by President Monson from the October Conference...(sorry its going to be another long blog entry)...

"Many years ago, Arthur Gordon wrote in a national magazine and I quote: When I was around thirteen and my brother ten, Father had promised to take us to the circus. But at lunchtime there was a call; some urgent business required his attention downtown. We braced ourselves for disappointment. Then we heard him say, 'No, I won't be down. It'll have to wait.' When he came back to the table, Mother smiled. 'The circus keeps coming back you know,' she said. 'I know,' said father. 'But childhood doesn't.'

If you have children who are grown and gone, in all likelihood you have occasionally felt pangs of loss and the recognition that you didn't appreciate that time of life as much as you should have. Of course there is not going back, but only forward. Rather than dwelling on the past, we should make the most of today, of here and now, doing all we can to provide pleasant memories for the future.

If you are still in the process of raising children, be aware that the tiny fingerprints that show up on almost every newly cleaned surface, the toys scattered about the house, the piles and piles of laundry to be tackled will disappear all too soon and tha you will to your surprise miss them profoundly." (OK-truth be told...sometimes I really, really can't wait for that time to come, especially while I'm doing all the cleaning...really the dishes and the laundry..IT NEVER ENDS!)

"Stress in our lives come regardless of our circumstances. We must deal with them the best we can. But we should not let them get in the way of what is most important and what is most important almost always involves the people around us. Often we assume that they must know how much we love them. But we should NEVER assume; we should let them know. Wrote William Shakespeare, 'They do not love that do not show their love.' We will never regret the kind words spoken or the affection shown. Rather, our regrets will come if such things are omitted from our relationships with those who mean the most to us."

So, first of all I really love what he says here. Funny thing-I'm not using it in my lesson, I'm sure I found this article again for me (will I listen and take heed to what he has instructed, who knows...only time will tell). And I wanted to share it with all of you. Remember things aren't always what they appear to be with those around you.

(That was then...)

As I watch my kids grow, especially Cayla right now, I realize it's only a matter of time before she leaves to College and gets married (ok secretly I really can't wait for her to get married and for me to be a grandma). Everyday I see her growing in to adulthood and I'm ok with that, except I want her to remember, no matter what, I will always be her mother. I often ask myself...as I'm sure each of you do...have I been an ok mother. When I watch their struggles and the things they do, mistakes they make, I often wonder if its because of something I've done or didn't do. I'm sure I could spend more time with them than I do and become that perfect mom. Kids really can frustrate us and that's ok, right?!? Let's just remember whats important...Loving our kids (even when we want to kill them, oh and trust me, sometimes I DO!)...Spending time with our kids and family (even if they drive us batty and some of us are half way there...ok no comment from the peanut gallery on that one)...And trying to find JOY in OUR LIVES!!

(...and this is now...they are growing up fast!)